Sunday, March 19, 2017

(Stony) Plain and Simple Truths


Week 28
Do you get it? Stony Plain? Plain and simple truths? Ha....haha....

Hey y'all! 
It has been a good first week in the great new area of Stony Plain! My companion is Elder Sean Nelson from South Jordan, Utah, right close to the temple I got my middle name from. He's a great guy, super organised (we're given companions to learn from, eh?), and he goes absolutely bonkers when he sees snowmobiles because that's his favourite thing. Especially after we got dumped on the other day, a foot and a half of snow OVERNIGHT! 

So, as my title suggests, I've learned a few Plain and Simple truths in the last week. 
Plain and simple truth number 1: sometimes we, as missionaries, are sent to areas to change other people's lives; other times we are sent to areas to learn things for ourselves. Here in Stony, there are very little teaching opportunities, we don't have any progressing investigators, and so that leaves tons of time to learn things for myself. 
Plain and simple truth number 2: There is always more than one way to skin a cat. This is a phrase my dad used to say sometimes. This is what I learned from the service we did for a lady in our ward yesterday. She is a very independent lady, heck bent on doing her own thing. She sold her portable car garage to someone in their tiny village of Wabuman. Since it was so large and hard to take apart, we decided it would be easier to just pick it up and move it three blocks down and a block over (up a hill also). So that's what we did. Cars were driving around us and giving us the "What the Heck?!" Look. I'll attach a picture of it. 

Pretty cool experience from Sunday, I bore my testimony in the Stony Plain Ward, even though I've only been here for a few days. A bunch of people came up and told me they know where Burley is. That was cool. One guy, Brother Heap, served his mission there. He was a missionary in my home ward when I was a kid. Now I'm a missionary in his ward. Funny how time flies, and the Lord places us in certain places for a reason. 

But yeah besides those things, I've been a little homesick for Leduc. It's gonna be hard to connect with the members here, but I'm sure it will happen! Oh! And by the way, they are going to be creating a new stake in the Edmonton area. So in the next month or so, we will have 5 stakes instead of 4. That was some very unexpected news we got Sunday. So there will be some very hefty changes coming our way soon. 

Thanks for all your prayers in not only my behalf, but in every other missionaries behalf as well. I know the work is moving forward, and we are standing firm in our steadfastness in Christ. There's nothing better than serving a mission to bring you closer to Jesus Christ. I know this is true. I've been able to actually tell some people how I came to know the truth of the gospel. The more we bear personal testimony, the more people feel the spirit. The church is true! 
Hope all is well back, home! I love all y'all! Keep on keeping on. 

-Elder Trevor J. Wells

Pictures:

1. The Millwoods Zone
2. A little more dignified
3. The Fitzners and I (they are the ones who buy and cook the crazy steaks)
4. Us and our friend Terra
5. Three of the five steak club members 
6. The Lawrence family (minus their oldest daughter Sydney)
7. Our investigator Aaron
8. Elder Nelson and I outside the Edmonton Temple
9. Bench.
10-11? Mission tour pictures with Elder Larry J. Echo hawk (Elder Nelson and I didn't even know each other but I was standing right behind him) 
12. Elder Nelson and I did the hard thing.
13. Only in Wabuman, Alberta












Monday, March 6, 2017

"Adam Left the Garden, Then God Made Mustard."


Week 27
SIX MONTHS!

Disclaimer: the title of this email is not doctrine, it was a funny quip from Christopher De Vries. I repeat, THE ABOVE IS NOT DOCTRINE. Carry on. 

Hello mi amigos! 
I have reached my six month milestone! Hallelujah! It's gone by so fast, but it's been so great as well! 
We received transfer calls this morning, and I am leaving Leduc tomorrow! I'm headed to Stony Plains (west of Edmonton) to be with Elder Nelson. Elder Johnston is staying in Leduc and will be Training a brand new missionary, and Elder Woodruff is going to Griesbach. It's sad to be split up with these guys because we've literally spent almost ever waking moment together for the last 3 months. I'm sad to leave but excited to see what God has in store for me in Stony! 

We had a good exchange with Elder Christiansen this week, we were able to learn a lot and as we did so, we got to witness the steak challenge again. This time it was the first female to ever attempt it, and her brother. Neither one made it through, but while they did that, we also had steak, but brother Fitzner said it wasn't beef, and he wouldn't tell us what it was until after. It ended up being yak steak, and it was by far the greatest steak I've ever had. 

On Friday, I reached my six month mark! The tradition of the mission is to burn a tie at six months, a shirt at a year, pants at 18 months, and a full suit at two years. So I have a video of me burning a tie. It was a great time. 

Saturday we did some quick service moving exercise equipment for Sister Nguyen, and basically the rest of the day we tracted. Knocking doors isn't my favourite thing to do, but being a friendly guy like me, it's not too hard to do either. Every time we knock a door, we are giving the people an opportunity to learn about the restored gospel of our Saviour, Jesus Christ. It's sad that most of them turn it down, but we know one day they will be able to know. As Elder Christofferson said in the MTC, "If these people knew that we bring the Kingdom of a God to their doors, do you think they'd turn it away?" Think about that.

Sunday was one of the most full days we've had in a very long time. We went to church, as normal, but then we had a lesson with our buddy Aaron. It was honestly spectacular because he has such a huge desire to know the truth. While we were talking about the gospel, we found out that although he's been investigating for a really long time, he has never heard of the Pearl of Great Price or the Doctrine and Covenants. So we are going to take him a copy of both tonight. We were able to help him to understand a bit more of what we know, and he is planning on coming to church this Sunday! 

After our lesson with Aaron, we took the sacrament to a very ill member of our ward, and her very old mother, and we also gave her a blessing. It was a very touching moment to see her faith and how she's clung so much to what she knows to be true. 
For dinner we had the most amazing authentic tacos I've ever had, and we visited Sister Kruyer in the hospital. She had to endure a terrible infection on her leg, tons of surgeries, and lots of doubt, but now she is just days away from finally leaving the hospital. And even better, she'll be leaving there on her own two feet. She told us so much there were times she wanted to give up, but she knew she couldn't. And I will reiterate one of the last things she said whilst bearing her testimony to us: "Life is Good." I know it is. It truly is good when we look at the positive side of everything, no matter how hard it may be. Turn to God, and He will have your back. 

Thanks for all you do! Love y'all! 
-Elder Trevor J. Wells

Pictures/videos:

1. The district left to right: E. Christiansen, E. Li, Sis. Bischoff, Sis. McSweeney, E. Lian, E. Woodruff, (in front) E. Johnston, E. Nield, E. Howlett, Me.
2. Silly district
3. Comp. picture
4. The Visa Waiter, The Trainer, The Piece of Work
Video: Tradition states: "He who reaches the milestone of six months of service to the Lord must burn a tie in order to continue on in the service of the Lord." (This is also not doctrine, I'm just trying to make you laugh.)
5.  Goodbye pictures with our friends, Donne and Trudy

6. Donne and Trudy after we moved a bunch of furniture for them.







I Was Hoping You WOOD


Week 26
Happy (late) Family Day, everyone! 
Yesterday was Alberta Family day, so I hope you all were hanging out with your fams! Families can be together forever! 

Anyways, it's been a really good week. as far as updates go with our investigators, Braydon told his mom that he wants to be baptised after he turns ten, later this year. Also, he's been praying in the morning with his family, so that's pretty excellent! 

Aaron is gone for the week so we haven't been able to meet with him. My companions had a lesson with him the other day before he left, while we were on exchanges, and they said it went really well. So great stuff! 

On Thursday we had the Lamberts (an older convert couple from our ward) come to our district meeting and share their conversion story. It was really great to see how the gospel turned their life completely around. I can testify that this gospel can and will change your life, if you let it! 
After district meeting, we were able to go on exchanges with Elder Lian, one of our Mandarin elders from Taiwan. He's sooooo funny. We had a lot of fun conversations, especially while we were doing service for our buddy Donne. 

Cool story about a referral, we got a call from some missionaries in Edmonton, telling us about a guy named terry. So what happened was he is researching a bunch of different churches trying to find the right one for him. He remembered building a house for some Mormons, and decided to find the closest congregation and give them a call. So he called one of the chapels, and these missionaries "just happened" to be there to answer his call! I know that Heavenly Father planned for this to happen! So he talked the missionaries that he wanted a King James Bible, a Book of Mormon, a pearl of great price, and the Doctrine and Covenants! We got the referral from them, and decided to go visit him in Devon. When we sat down and talked to him, he had tons of questions about the temple and how we came to be and why we chose to serve missions, and why the Book of Mormon matters, and then he told us he would also like a copy of Mormon Doctrine (which is a pretty hardcore deep doctrine Book!). He said, "let me stay up for a few nights reading what you gave me, and then I'll call you." We were literally blown away! At this point we know he is focused a lot on the trivial stuff, but we can help him turn to the spiritual side more so. Pretty darn great! 

I was also able to spend 2 hours with one of the Assistants to the President, Elder Saumweber, on Friday, tracting, and we were able to give out like 9 copies of the Book of Mormon. It was awesome to see the way he tracted and interacted with the people. We saw some real miracles. He leaves at the end of this transfer, so I'm glad I had that time with him. The main thing that made it great was getting to talk about country music the whole time. Made my day:D

Since yesterday was Family day, we went to the church and had breakfast with the ward family. I have really come to love our ward family. They're great. We had a huge breakfast, then we had the opportunity to drive out to the country and help the Arnold family chop some wood. Living the lumberjack life for a little while. I should have gotten a picture of the huge pile of wood we stacked. (That's where the terrible pun in my email title comes from.) It was a good workout. It's also amazing to feel the Love of God flow through us to bless other people through our service. 

Next week is transfers, so we shall see what happens! Elder woodruff got a call from president yesterday saying the other missionaries who were waiting for their visas got them, and they will be leaving Sunday. Elder Woodruff's can't be too far behind, we think! 
I'll be sure to let y'all know what's happening at transfers. 

Thanks for all the prayers in behalf of my companions and I and our investigators! I love you guys and hope you have a great last week of February! 
Love,
Your Friendly Neighbourhood Elder Wells😁

Pictures/videos:

1. Elder Lian and Elder Woodruff
2. Object lessons with The Jeffrey family (Stephen Jeffrey getting wet)
3. Our bishop, his wife, and his parents. Left to right: Bishop, Mary, me, Myra, Leon, Woodruff, Johnston 
4. The snow was so wet, then the sun came out, and it rolled down someone's windshield
5. Kid from our ward, Matthew at the His Hands fireside in Edmonton







Wednesday, February 15, 2017

On the Bonny, Bonny Banks...


Week 25

Well hello there! How are you guys? 
It's been a pretty great week, a couple of exchanges, a lot of amazing people met, plus a pretty solid roast in our gospel principles class on Sunday.

While doing service for the old folks day group, the lady in charge had the country radio station playing, so I got to jam out to some really great music for the first time in a while:D

We went on an exchange with the Mandarin elders again on Thursday after district meeting, and my  buddy Elder Howlett came out to Leduc. While we tracted with him, we had a ton of success, and met a lot of really solid potentials. One Indian lady opened the door and said, "come in, sit down, any message, any message, please." So we shared the Book of Mormon with her and taught a little bit about the Restoration. It was really cool, especially when we left. As we came outside, another lady was walking down the street and started calling us over. She asked if we were the ones who knocked on her door a few minutes ago, and then we told her what we do and set up a return appointment. Usually people don't come looking for the strangers who knocked on their doors, but this lady did. Luckily! 

We met a really cool guy named Mitch, who runs a big company, let us in and taught him a little bit more about our message. He has friends who are members and that little planted seed made him just a bit more curious, which is always a good thing:)

Saturday we drove into Edmonton so elder Johnston could do a baptismal interview for a kid the sisters have been teaching. It was great to see how well he knew the gospel and was able to tell us what he knows. Never underestimate kids. 
After that we went shopping for some shoes for Elder Johnston, and I saw the most fantastic crazy sock wall ever. It took all my power not to buy some of them. A lot of you know how much I love crazy socks, but they're not exactly approved to wear as a missionary... haha oops. 

I'm now officially a licensed driver in the province of Alberta. It's nice to finally be able to drive, but I'm really not excited to drive to Edmonton, because it's pretty crazy traffic. 

The other night, the High Priest group put on an activity called "Guess Who's Coming For Dinner" where there are several families from the ward who volunteer their home and their cooking, and 4 or 5 couples come over, but the host family doesn't know who's coming, neither do the individual couples. It's a good way to get the members together to share stories and learn new things about each other, and even see who we could be sharing the gospel with. We got invited to the fitzners, and then we shared a message focused on the His Hands firesides which the Canada Edmonton Mission has been putting on. After our companionship went to see it, I felt inspired to write a poem about Jesus Christ, and I was able to share it with the members who were there at dinner that night. I'll attach the poem to my email. Ive gained a much closer relationship with Christ since being out on the mission, and it's something I love and want other people to have. That is why I serve. 

Sunday night we had delicious dinner with the Jeffrey family, celebrating my main man, Russell's 21st birthday. He's a super sweet guy who's getting married this year, and served his mission in Idaho, so of course he's pretty legit. 

Yesterday I was on exchanges with the Zone Leader, Elder Bonny from Utah. (Hence the title of my email) we did a lot of tracting and had a great dinner with a family, who I shared my poem with. The Ellerslie area we were in is a little bit busier than Leduc, so there was more street contacting to be done. I went up and talked to a random guy, was able to give him a Book of Mormon, and even learn about what he believes. I usually don't do that, but with him, the spirit was guiding me. Super cool. 

Well, that's it for this week, y'all. Thanks for your support and prayers! I love serving and being Gods hands in this work.
 "Miracles happen once in a while, if you believe."
Love ya!
Your Friendly Neighbourhood Elder Wells😁

Pictures:
1. Alberta sunset featuring the heaviest filters I could use
2. Probably the biggest house I've knocked on
3. Feasting upon the word
4. The sock wall
5. "King me."
6. Only some will understand.
7. Another Alberta sunset
8-9 Selfies with Elder Bonny 

Videos:
1. Elder Woodruff bed flipped me 
2. Some fun while planning in McDonald's
3. Elder Howlett discretely videoed me dancing 










Saturday, February 11, 2017

Brazilian Soup


Week 24

Hola mi familia! 
How goes it? This week was a lot more productive than last week I feel like. We were able to have a few lessons, and we got dropped... in the nicest way possible (including soup). I'll explain in a bit. 

So apparently, the Elders who were in Leduc before us met with a gentleman named Tony from Egypt like three times, but didn't bother to make a record for him, and forgot to tell us about him. So we found out some information about him and set up an appointment to meet. When we arrived, he told us his background and what not, and then we started our lesson. We explained the Book of Mormon a little more in depth, and talked about the priesthood and where it comes from. The spirit was really strong, he really wants to go to a family oriented church, and at what felt like the climax of the lesson, Elder Woodruff invited him to be baptised. We expected him to say yes, because the way the spirit had worked upon him understanding what we taught, and he said no. So that was a little disappointing, but we will still meet with him tomorrow to teach him a bit more. 

We had a sweet lesson with our buddy, Braydon, where we explained the big picture and the reason he should be baptised. I should have taken a picture of the picture I drew for him, but I forgot. Next week I'll send it. We told him if he wants to be happy, live with his mom and God forever, he needs to be baptised, because "strait is the gate and narrow is the way which leads to eternal life". He was still really squirmy, but he did say he wants to be baptised. He and his mom have been praying to find out a specific day. To be continued...

At our district meeting on Thursday, in a role play with the Sisters, I know the spirit was there. One of them had a question about why we need the Book of Mormon if we have a Bible. Out of nowhere, this analogy came to my mind, which I'd never heard before. Imagine you're standing on one foot. See how off balance you are? That's what it's like to only have knowledge from the bible. Now, if you have both feet, or in other words the Book of Mormon AND the Bible, you are able to stand, walk, run, jump, and do all sorts of things. The two compliment each other, they aren't used to find fault. So that was pretty cool. 

So now to the story of the drop. There is this amazing Brazilian couple who we have had a super hard time meeting with lately. The other night, we stopped in just to see if hey were home, and they were! The husband, Moacyr (MoyseeAy) invited us in and we talked for a while. He told us they are ok with their religion now, and they love us to death, but they just don't have time to sit and talk about religion because she has to go back to Brazil and he needs to find a job. So in a way he dropped us, saying they're not quite interested. The wife, Marcella came around the corner and talked and explained a little bit of of what he had said, then said she had been making some Brazilian soup and wanted us to have some. (We had just eaten a hefty meal of sloppy joes, but they wouldn't let us leave until we had some.) it was probably the best soup I've ever had. We ate soup, chatted with them, laughed a lot, ended with hugs, and then we left. That was the most upbeat drop in the history of dropping. 

This is going to be a long email, but at least that means it was a great week! Saturday we moved a bunch of belongings for an older lady from Fort McMurray, with The Nesom boys. They're the most redneck bunch of kids ever. I love em. In the process, we got a 15 passenger van stuck in two inches of snow, loaded up 4 vehicles with totes, took like 12 trips in the elevators to get the belongings up to the 7th floor, and then sister Nesom bought 8 pizzas and we ate basically all of it. 
Later that night, we went to a baptism for a man Elder Woodruff taught in his last area. Braydon and his brothers and mom were able to go to it, just so Braydon has a better idea of what baptism actually is, and that it's not so scary. 

Our mission has been doing these fire sides throughout this month and last, called "His Hands". It's a musical journey through the life of Christ. Through watching the missionaries sing and feeling of the special spirit there, I felt like I understood more of what Christ went through for us. Before we went to that, we had a lesson with Aaron, and he has been thinking a lot about baptism. He really wants to know the truth, and as soon as he knows, he wants to be baptized. As we answered some of his questions regarding the Priesthood, I felt the spirit tell me to say, "Aaron, you know you could hold this priesthood one day." That made a big effect on him. 

At one of our dinner appointments, the members dog, (huge German Shepard) chewed the crap out of one of my church shoes.... Sister Hinman said she'd buy me a new pair. Gotta love dogs. 

That's it for the week, I hope you all know that Jesus loves you! The church is true! Love y'all! 
-Your Friendly Neighbourhood Elder Wells😁

Pictures

Making Toad in a Hole for breakfast 
Elder Johnston cuddles
It's definitely 5:00 somewhere! (Zack Nesom's Ford Escape)
Another red bench
Relatives of Brandon Hosteen who were at my farewell!
My sweet haircut
Advertising for McDonald's 








Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Faith Is Like A Little TUMOUR


Week 23

Yoohoo! Hello family! 
How are you all this week? That's good, I'm great, thanks for asking. :)

I was saddened to hear the news of my Great Grandma Wells passing. She lived a good life and raised good kids and grandkids and I'm very honoured to be numbered among her great grandkids. She was a huge role model to me. She even started me writing poetry. For that I will be forever grateful. I know she has been reunited with her husband, Who has been gone for over 30 years. I hope I can make them proud in my service as a missionary. 

Most of you know, there was a missionary broadcast on Wednesday for the whole world. They changed some things about the schedule, and with our record keeping in the mission. Not a huge change, but it's still worthy of mention. 
Friday we had our mission tour with Elder EchoHawk. He is truly called of God. His testimony was evident throughout the whole time he was with us. He was able to uplift and motivate us through the spirit. He shook my hand twice because Idahoans are awesome. (He was a government guy for Idaho for a long time.)

As for missionary work this week, it's been slow. We've been tracting so much. I'd like to say I hope I never see another front door again, but that would be invalid on two accounts. 1. I know I'm gonna see a billion more doors in the time on the mission. And 2. Canadians like to use their side or back doors more than their front doors. There's always a sign saying "use side door."
We had a lot of appointments fall through this past week, which is sad to say. But no worries, we keep pressing forward, onward ever onward. 

We had a fantastic lesson with two less actives, Terra and Dalyce, who are sisters. We watched the video, the Hope of Gods Light, and talked about coming to know the truth through prayer. Terra even testified to her sister that reading the Book of Mormon brings so much peace to your being. 

Elder Johnston got in trouble for climbing a pillar of rocks outside some lady's house, so that was funny. We also got to witness the baptism of a recent Converts younger brother, Topher. So I can say I've been to a baptism on my mission. Oh, and the title for my email is because in a lesson with The Nguyen boys, while we were talking about how faith is like a little seed, the one boy said, "OR LIKE A TUMOUR!" This caught me off guard because I had been looking for a reference to share with their mother. I was so confused why he said that until I Zoned back in. 

So that was our week! I was also able to finish reading the Book of Mormon for the 3rd time. But I got so much more out of it, especially after praying to know the truth of it. Because I know we receive the truth of all things through the Holy Ghost. The church is true everyone! 
I hope y'all have a great week, and I hope to hear from you soon! 
Love,
Elder Trevor J. Wells
Your Friendly Neighbourhood Elder Wells😁

Pictures:

1. Google maps image of my favourite place in the world, with a little help from markup.
2. Videos of me being destroyed at arm wrestling
3. One more bench picture never hurt anyone.
4. Selfies in the church



Wednesday, January 25, 2017

9.9 on the Rector Scale 💥



Week 22
5 Months!!!

Hey everybody! 
My email title is clever, I promise. Just give it a second.

We started out this week helping out brother Nesom from our ward with his horses. We put up a round pen for his new colt so he can train it and break it to ride. Then he took us out for lunch... at McDonald's. 
In the past week, all three of us have been some degree of sickly, and Wednesday was Elder Woodruff's day. So we sat inside a lot of the day, because it's better to take a day to recover than go out and work five days feeling like garbage. Later that night we had dinner with our bishop and his wife and his parents, who are from Scotland. They're so cool, I love being around them. Sister Lambert made my favourite meal for us, Chicken Cordon Bleu! It was awesome! Then we had a sweeeet strawberry rhubarb pie. (I've gained 20 pounds and there's no question on who's to blame for that. Haha)

Thursday we had our district meeting, then we went tracting and met a really cool new potential guy named Eric. (That's about the 5th one we've met) then we went to Devon and tracted a bit, met a large hairy shirtless guy holding a baby and talked to him about the gospel on his doorstep. We gave him a Book of Mormon and will hopefully be going back soon. 
Then we had dinner with the Chutes, the family of our recent convert Julianna (9 years old). We had tacos! Julianna had to leave for a birthday party, but her younger brother Topher is getting baptized soon, so we focused the lesson on him. We taught him about the Holy Ghost. It takes me back to being his age, and I wish I knew as much about the gospel then as I do now. Depending upon when he decides to be baptized, Elder Johnston might get to baptize him because both his dad and his step dad are going to be getting surgery next month (don't quote me on that.) so I will at least get to go to one baptism. 

We might be moving apartments next month, so we got to go and check out some pretty nice ones in town. We won't know for sure until later, but I shall keep y'all posted. We did a lot of planning Friday, then had dinner with the De Vries, an awesome young family with tons of returned/one serving missionaries. It was awesome to see connections with them, because One served with Spencer Anderson, one of the sons girlfriends who was there served with Elder Connor Hansen (Sister Hatch) and one served in Glasgow Scotland where Elder Greer is from! When you're a Mormon, you can't walk ten feet without having a connection to someone! 

Later we had a lesson with Dalyce, our less active friend, and she was able to read the Book of Enos! 
Braydon is slowly moving back towards baptism. He's been at church though which has been awesome. 
We have a lesson with our buddy Aaron tonight, and I'm excited to talk to him more about faith and baptism! 

Saturday morning, the Rector family (there's the joke in the title) had us over. Brother Peter Rector had a bunch of his nonmember friends over, and they shot guns, had lunch, and blew up a propane tank! It was awesome to watch, I have a couple videos of it, I'll send them. A lot of his friends wanted to know why we weren't shooting, why we were wearing ties, and what the heck two idahoans were doing in Canada. When we told them what missionaries do, they said that's very honourable and we must be dedicated. We try. It was great to plant that little seed and get the bug in their ear. 

We had dinner with a family from the Philippines later that night, and they set up a time for Elder Johnston to try balut. If you don't know what it is, it's a fermented duck egg that they eat in the Philippines. I'm not going to eat it, because I know myself and I would not be able to keep it down. 
Last night we had dinner with the Lamberts again and we had chicken and waffles.... if you haven't had that I suggest you get it sometime! Super good! 
We met a lot of awesome people while tracting this week, and although we have been every degree of sickness, we are still pressing forward. With steadfastness in Christ. Always! 

It's great to be here serving the Lord and the Canadians. Although many doors remain closed and many hearts remain hard, that doesn't mean we won't be looking for opportunities to share the gospel with people. If you haven't watched it already, I suggest y'all look up the "Work of Salvation" Mormon Message. It's amazing. Go out and do some good for someone! Let us all press on! 
Love you guys! 

Elder Trevor J. Wells
Canada Edmonton Mission
2 Nephi 31:20 


Pictures/Videos
1. Long distance video of the explosion
2. Video from Brother Rectors Perspective in slow motion
3. All the trees here look like this right now.
4. These boots were made for tracting, and thats basically all they do. 
5. Finding this in Walmart made me trunkier than an elephant going to Hogwarts